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Thursday, January 24, 2008, 10:11 PM (0) Look, I've already been told today that yes, I am a sucky friend and maybe I should go jump down the building or something. I really don't need to find out that I am a sucky daughter. Yes, I already knew that I am, and it hurts so much more when I know I'm disappointing you all. I know I promised, but I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry I'm not perfect - I'm not a perfect friend or daughter or classmate or human and being alive was a horrible mistake and I should belong in Hell or something. But fuck it, can't all of you just see it my way for just one second? Because I'm sick and I'm tired and I'm trying so hard, but somehow all I end up doing is making a complete mess of my life. Everything hurts and oh, just fuck it. Why did I even bother trying and promising anyway - when I knew I'd end up disappointing everyone and myself? /edit: I can't be everyone at the goddamn same time - a good friend, a good daughter, a good student. Somehow when I please one, I disappoint the other. So, what do you want me to do? What do you want me to goddamn do? |